Friction Is the Work

Make your point... without making an enemy.

Steve Jobs once told a story about a rock tumbler.

His neighbor gave him a can, a motor, some jagged rocks, and a bit of liquid. They tossed it all in and let it spin. Overnight, the rocks clashed and slammed and scraped against each other. And in the morning? Smooth stones. Still distinct, but polished... not in spite of the friction, but because of it.

That’s what real teams do.

Friction isn’t dysfunction. It’s transformation.

Every disagreement... every challenge... every 'are you sure that’s the right ask?' -- that’s the work. Not extra. Not political. Just... the work. But only if we’re all in the can together.

You can’t opt out of the process and expect polished outcomes.

If you’re a stakeholder who disappears until the final mile... If you won’t rotate someone out of a squad, but still expect delivery... If you ignore feedback loops, or quietly ghost then reappear with new demands... You’re not in the can. You’re standing outside, hoping someone else gets shiny on your behalf.

Same goes for us. If we nod at poor requirements just to keep the peace... or avoid asking hard questions because it’s awkward... we’re letting the whole process stay dull.

Here’s the trick though: **Make your point, without making an enemy.**

Challenge with clarity. Disagree with respect. Push back without posturing. Because healthy teams don’t avoid friction... they **channel** it. They shape each other in the process.

You don’t get polish without a little noise. You don’t get trust without a little tension. And you don’t get the *real* work unless everyone is willing to turn.