Ask Like an Ally, Not a Rebel

The smartest people in the room don’t challenge. They investigate.

**“How do I push back without sounding rude?”** Syeda asked me this after reading my post on stakeholder requests.

And it’s the right question. Because some folks are loud. Confident. Senior. And *absolutely* sure they know what they want.

But if you build exactly what they ask for, you often end up with a flawless solution to the wrong problem.

So how do you steer without sparking a standoff?

You don’t challenge. You explore.

You say:

“What happens if this works perfectly?” “If we had to cut this in half, what would we keep?” “What’s the decision that hangs on this chart?” “If we got this wrong, how would we know?” “What’s changed since the last time this came up?”

These aren’t pushbacks, they’re levers. They shift the room, gently, toward clarity.

Because curiosity done well isn’t just polite. It’s persuasive.

And if you can ask the question no one else thought to ask? You’re not just part of the meeting. You’re leading it.